In the small town of Noplace, Ohio, their Conventional Braces lived a boy named Brian. He had a crazy haircut and was a little bit weird.
One night he couldn’t sleep, so instead, he decided to go for a walk in his neighborhood. As soon as he stepped outside, it started raining.
Brian found an umbrella and opened it up to keep him dry, but then noticed that it wasn’t working.
He went back inside and got some tape out of Conventional Braces of the kitchen drawer by the sink to fix the broken part on his umbrella. That didn’t work either…
Brian felt like giving up for tonight because it was too dark outside now anyway (because of clouds), so he closed his umbrella and went to bed.
When he laid down to sleep, he heard something that sounded like rain on his window… But it was not raining where he lived. He thought about opening up the curtain to take a look outside but decided against it because many birds are afraid of light and make noise when they see bright lights. Also, animals can’t talk so if anyone were out there making the sound of water splashing around, Brian wouldn’t want them to see him looking at them.
Brian went back to sleep feeling very confused yet relieved that there was no one outside his window because he had bad dreams sometimes and didn’t want any more nightmares tonight.
I was really late for work today—late enough that I could have been fired. So there I was, driving up the interstate at about 99 miles an hour.
I saw a cop car up ahead and thought, “It’s over! He’s going to pull me over!” Just then, another car in front of me slammed on his brakes.
I couldn’t avoid crashing into him; my brakes didn’t work. It turned out that my mechanic forgot to install them when he fixed my car yesterday. Anyway, it was all the other guy’s fault because he stopped abruptly in front of me (even though there were no other cars around).
I got out of my crumpled-up car to inspect the damage and heard some guy behind me yell something like, “Hey! You’re not even wearing a seat belt!”
“I know,” I said. “But it’s okay. My brakes stopped me before anything bad happened.” The truth is, I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt because the buckle was stuck and wouldn’t come undone no matter how hard I tried to pull it apart with my fingers.
The other guy looked suspicious but walked away after a while so he could call the cops or something. Suddenly, another car came speeding along going about 100 mph, and smashed into me from behind really hard!
This time I was sent flying through the air at about 70 miles an hour towards a lamppost that was coming closer very fast…and then everything went black as I collided into it and fell to the ground in a heap.
I woke up an hour later in a hospital bed with my wife and kids by my side. I had no idea how I got there but somehow escaped death again. Then the doctor walked in… “I have some good news,” he said. “You are going to be okay.”
“Awesome!” I shouted back. “When do you think I can go home? My car’s totaled!”
Unfortunate Accident With An Ice Cream Cone
One day, while walking out of work at Five O’Clock PM, Michael was enjoying his favorite ice cream cone on the way home to eat dinner with his family for Sunday night.
His workday had been stressful, though, and he was looking forward to eating some of his delicious Vanilla Bean ice creams. However, when crossing the street at 5:15 PM, Michael’s foot slipped on a banana peel that someone had carelessly tossed onto the sidewalk after eating one!
He tried desperately to recover and maintain his balance but failed and fell flat on his face right in front of an oncoming car. The driver slammed on the brakes but was unable to avoid hitting Michael’s limp body as it rolled over several times before coming to rest in the gutter by the curb.
The ambulance arrived quickly; however, Michael died immediately upon impact due to internal damage from striking his head so hard on the pavement…after the impact, his eyes had rolled back in their sockets and remained that way as he twitched spasmodically.
When Michael’s family arrived at the hospital after hearing about the accident on the news, they were devastated to learn their beloved husband, father and son were dead…never again would he enjoy his favorite ice cream treat on a hot summer day with a few sprinkles of chocolate syrup.
Title: A Crushing Defeat Transformed Into Victory When We Realized The Rules Of The Game Were Actually Opposite From What Our Team Thought They Were!
We were playing frisbee football against some other kids from our neighborhood this afternoon when we noticed something curious…the ball kept getting bigger every time someone caught it!
